When People Won’t Let You Move on From Your Past

1. Remember Who Defines You

First things first—God, not people, defines who you are. If you’ve repented, if you’ve surrendered your past to Him, He has already moved on. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).

If God isn’t holding your past over your head, why let anyone else? People may remember your failures, but God remembers His promises. He calls you redeemed (Ephesians 1:7), a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), and His child (John 1:12). Hold on to that truth, not their opinions.

2. Recognize That Some People Need You to Stay the Same

Sometimes, people hold onto your past because it makes them feel more comfortable. If they admit you’ve changed, it might force them to confront their own areas of stagnation. Or maybe they just don’t know how to relate to the new you. Either way, that’s not your burden to carry.

Jesus faced this, too. When He returned to His hometown, people dismissed Him, saying, “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son?” (Matthew 13:55). They couldn’t reconcile who they thought He was "becoming" with who they remembered. And because of their unbelief, He didn’t do many miracles there (Matthew 13:58).

Some people will always see you as who you were, not who you’re becoming. That’s their issue, not yours.

3. Set Boundaries Without Bitterness

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to keep exposing yourself to those who refuse to respect your growth. Jesus loved everyone, but He didn’t entrust Himself to everyone (John 2:24). There’s wisdom in that truth for us.

It’s okay to limit your interactions with people who constantly drag you back into old narratives. It’s okay to say, “I’m not that person anymore, and I won’t keep defending who I’ve become.” And it’s definitely okay to protect your peace.

Don’t let their refusal to move on harden your heart. Keep forgiving, even if it’s from a distance. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

4. Keep Walking in Your New Identity

At the end of the day, the best way to show you’ve changed is to keep walking in that change. You don’t have to argue. You don’t have to prove anything. Just live it. Over time, the fruit of your life will speak louder than their doubts ever could.

Paul, one of the greatest apostles, had a past as a persecutor of Christians. When he first started preaching, people were skeptical. But over time, his life bore evidence of his transformation, and people eventually said, “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy” (Galatians 1:23).

Let your life be your testimony. Those who are willing to see your growth will see it, and those who refuse to—that’s between them and God.

People will talk. Some will bring up your past just to keep you stuck there. But you don’t have to stay in that place. You are not who you were. You are who God says you are.

So keep moving forward. Keep growing. Keep becoming. And let God handle the rest.