Parenting is undoubtedly one of the hardest jobs on earth, whether you have one child or ten. Each child brings their own unique personality, needs, and challenges. I've often heard it said that we don't have a manual or book to teach us how to be parents. But I beg to differ—the Bible offers plenty of wisdom on raising children and handling life's many challenges. That said, I do understand the sentiment, because let's face it—children require so much of who we are. And if you grew up in a dysfunctional home, parenting can feel even harder, especially if you haven't sought help or worked through the pain from your own upbringing.
How do we maintain grit as parents when we still have healing to do ourselves? When our children are acting out or going through problems that have no instant answers? When we are tired from working, running errands, and tackling the never-ending list of daily life responsibilities? How do we have grit when all we want to do is collapse into bed and shut out the world?
Parenting requires a level of resilience that can’t be faked. Grit requires perseverance, and that means showing up for your children even when it’s hard. It requires pushing through the exhaustion, the frustration, and the feelings of inadequacy to be the parent your child needs.
Here are a few ways we can build and maintain that grit:
1. Lean on Your Foundation
One of the ways we can maintain grit is by leaning on our foundation, our faith. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us to "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." That’s not just a call to teach our kids; it’s a promise that our efforts, when rooted in God’s wisdom, will bear fruit. When we feel like we’re at the end of our rope, prayer and Scripture can give us the strength to press on.
2. Take Care of Yourself
It’s often said that you can’t pour from an empty cup. While it’s tempting to put your children’s needs above your own 24/7, maintaining your own mental, physical, and emotional health is crucial. That might mean carving out a few minutes each day to pray, journal, or simply sit in silence. It might mean seeking counseling to address past wounds or joining a support group of other parents who understand what you’re going through.
3. Embrace the Imperfection
Grit doesn’t require perfection; it requires persistence. You’re going to make mistakes as a parent, no doubt about it. What matters is how you respond to those mistakes. Apologize when you’re wrong. Show your children that it’s okay to mess up as long as you take responsibility and strive to do better. This not only teaches them accountability but also models grace.
4. Focus on the Bigger Picture
There will be days when you feel like nothing is going right, when the tantrums, the messes, and the chaos feel overwhelming. But having grit means keeping your eyes on the bigger picture. Remember that the work you’re doing today, even the unseen, thankless work, is shaping your children’s future. Trust that the seeds you’re planting will grow, even if you can’t see the results yet.
Let God Fill the Gaps
At the end of the day, no parent is perfect, but God’s grace is sufficient to fill the gaps where we fall short. Trust Him to guide your steps, to heal your wounds, and to work in your children’s lives in ways you can’t. Remember that His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
Parenting with grit is showing up, persevering, and trusting God every step of the way. It’s not easy, but it’s doable. And on the days when it feels like you can’t go on, remember this— you were chosen to be your child’s parent. God has equipped you for this role, and He’ll provide everything you need to fulfill it.
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